a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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