I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
honey bunches of taint.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
