please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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