Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
