Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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