Whatcha textin bout Willis?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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