scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
