i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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