k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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