she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize