Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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