So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
