it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
