We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
