speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize