Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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