scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
two words...techno handjob
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
