I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
