Don't you send me to vm
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
