My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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