Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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