im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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