Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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