if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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