I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
