that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
