On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
