I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked and annoyed.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize