We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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