i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize