I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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