im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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