Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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