Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Your penis caused this!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize