id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
