You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
