As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
