I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Randomize
