belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
