i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
