I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
