i just wanna soil my oats bro
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
that's an acceptable place to lick
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
