Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
