you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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