so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
