Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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