U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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