can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
