I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
