hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize