i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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