Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
