I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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