I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
3pm strippers are depressing
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
