Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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