I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
