The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
