So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think i have herpe
just one?
i think i have two assholes
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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