Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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